well... in about 14 hours i'll be at the hospital and they'll be starting cervadil... and in 24 hours they'll be starting pitocin to make contractions happen... and then sometime thereafter i'll be a mom and nick'll be a dad. scary.
ok, so it hasn't really hit home with me yet, ya know - but as of last night when i went to go to sleep, it started hitting.... and yea, i'm scared. i'm scared of labor, i'm scared of birth, i'm scared of bringing this little life home, i'm scared of not being a good mom.
i know it'll all work itself out and things'll be fine, but i'm still nervous. i've seen all the preparation videos, i've read all the books, i know what happens in emergency situations, i know what happens when all goes according to plan, i know what to expect and i know we'll do fine - but i've had 10 months to prepare and all of a sudden that doesn't seem like a long enough time.
i just want her safe and healthy and i want labor to go smoothly and quickly and i want the fear to go away :)
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